On My Sleeve, In My Heart, Deep Within My Soul

I am going to try to start blogging again. It's been a while. I've erased most of my old blogs. But I still have many pages RE: my personal information, bands and projects, visual arts, performances and other affiliations. I will list all relevant ones here soon. I have LOTS to share.

First, I want to express a few essential elements concerning Myself and my Life.

I am not a very simple man. I am quite intense at times. The last year has been a new beginning for me. I have been divorced for just over 12 months. Times have changed; a lot of things have changed. I have definitely changed. And though the last year has made me re-learn who I am -- who HUNTER BELL "is," it has been a new kind of hell. The reason: I have not been around my wonderful Son very often. For that matter, I have not seen him in person in over 8 months. Tragedy. Many times I’ve been in utter misery. Not Today.

I MISS MY SON. I LOVE MY SON – Tristan Hunter Bell (born in July 2008).

I’m not always in pain. Somehow I have found HOPE in a place I never thought I would. The place is deeper down, inside my soul, a place I never knew existed until a few years ago. HOPE is not foreign to me anymore. I KNOW I will see my precious Son soon. All will not be lost. Though I will never be able to make up for the ACTUAL times I've missed with him in the past several months, I will make sure he knows me as his Daddy, his Father, and most of all -- His BEST Friend. I have not and never will abandon Him. I look forward to teaching Him the true values every person should learn: Love, Truth/Honesty, Respect, Integrity, Humility, Kindness, Forgiveness, HOPE . . . . . .(and so much more)

I look so forward to our next meeting; our reconnection. I think of Tristan every instant. I send Him my Prayers and Positive Energy every moment I exist. I dream of Him when I close my eyes. But I will never rest well until I hold and hug Him; feed and care for Him; play music and draw pictures with Him. . . . .

There are no words to describe how much I miss my baby boy. I will be with you soon, Tristan.

It is too bad his mother has made things so difficult. But I shan’t let her hate consume me. I have a world to show Tristan. I have an Omniverse to explore with him. I will not succumb to the pain she has put upon me.

I have a very Spiritual Life. It may not be like most people’s idea of Spirituality. In fact, many people may not understand, appreciate or even believe in my concept of Spirituality. They may not believe that I know of a deeper meaning of life than they possibly grasp. I wear lots of my feelings and opinions and attitudes on my sleeve(s). I wear many hats. (But I have only ONE FACE.) I share and express myself more than most. Sometimes I might puzzle people. I have never intended to hurt anyone. I’m sorry that I have. I’m not perfect. I am part of the Human Condition that we all experience. We all experience this condition differently. We all have different paths, whether we choose them or not. This is Life. Like it or not.

Let me make this clear: I have a very deep and powerful Spirit. My Spirituality may not be “worn” on my sleeve like most of the rest of who “I” am. But my Spirit is CONSTANT; it is DEEP; it is forever Evolving; it is Loving and Creative. Tristan will one day know the Spirituality I Speak of and Live by. It is in His Heart and Soul. Like Father, like Son.


I have many wonderful Friends and Family who I Love and Cherish. They return the Love and I am Honored to have them in my Life and a part of my Spiritual Path. I am very Thankful for such incredible Souls in my Life. I am also very Thankful for so many Souls that have touched my Life who have now moved to another Dimension, as They have passed away to another Place. I will never forget Them. I will never forget what They taught me. 

Now that my Spirituality and Feelings/Love for my Son have been temporarily worn on my sleeve and at least touched upon (to a certain degree), I shall Focus on the Future. My Soul is geared, fueled and ready.